I had taken copious notes during the event, in order to do a proper journalistic job of capturing the spirit of the thing, however my notebook was lost and I’m kind of working from memory here:
On Feb 28, 2015 (AD), San Luis Obispo, CA. The stormy skies welcomed into existence a thing called "SLO skatepark”. I didn’t initially realize the dark nature of the event until I saw them charging $8.50 for two tacos - then it became clear what I was dealing with.
The towns populace turned out 'en-masse to celebrate this staging area for some sort of magick ceremony to be held upon the ominous mountain that seemed ever-present on the horizon.
fig. 1: Ominous ritual mountain top.
In a plan that could only be described as “Machiavellian”, the orchestrators of the event seeded the community with scooters, ensuring the children would come to the park’s opening event.
Step two was to collect children in a large trap. Genius in it’s evil design, it beckoned them to come closer and closer, irresistibly drawn to their fate. The townsfolk laughed and pointed as they tried to claw their way up the slippery walls.
fig. 2: Pit for trapping children to be used in rituals upon said mountain top.
fig. 2b: Mall cop style security forces that prevented the use of the park before the ceremony could be held
Later the children would be used in whatever sort of dark after-party was planned to happen on the mountain top. Whatever it was I’m sure Baphomet would have been proud.
It was clear to me that what was left of their bodies after the ritual was to be hanged from the artificial trees that mocked the site’s visitors with made-up words like “bluntside”.
fig. 3: Structures from which the remains were to be hanged for display
fig. 4: "Bluntside" frontside? bluntslide? the name of a nearby DIY?
fig. 5: @yarbbb, madonna.
fig. 6: slob grindy thing.
fig. 7: Scott Foss - Andrecht
fig. 8: FSA.
fig. 9: fs tailslide.
fig. 10: Ki Crumpton goes oververt.
fig. 11: Props to this dude for scaring the shit out of the mall people with a seriously loud front disaster smack.
fig. 12: Pipi Johns - airwalk to fakie
fig. 12: Isaiah Malatamban - front 5-0 on the bank to steeper bank.
fig. 13: Demarcus James - frontside invert
I heard that Riley Hawk may have been there, but I was only able to make contact with someone who claimed to be Riley’s brother, Mike – Didn’t see him skate though. He just kind of giggled and left.
I believe the event was considered a success and yielded a sufficient amount of children to satisfy their god.
Most importantly, the park is free, no pads or helmets required and the lights stay on til 10:00 PM.
For more info: www.sloskatepark.com